Its A Secret

“Can I tell you a secret?

You don’t have to be in a relationship.

I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone.

But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever – and yet the friendship is the one people ignore.

I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets – they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing – not even a date – out of you?

It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning.

The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.

Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.”



Uh, hello, Darkness, this one is for you.


Darkness, you are something, eh? A part of me? The pit of my soul. The unattended, the unwanted, the self-loathing part of me? 

None of that. You are not a part of me. You are not even there. Nope, nothing called Darkness. Inside me, or in this matter, inside anyone else. 

Yet, my fellow readers, you must be wondering if there is no Darkness, why am I writing about it? Oh, hell, I will come to that in a bit. But first thing first—

“There it is… eating you from the inside… making you sad. And in the end, you feel nothing.”

“Uh huh. Just a question, if nothing is what you feel, how can that nothingness hurt you?”

— A conversation I had with my arch enemy—me—on a melancholic night. And, there it was, the answer lingering in the question.

Confused? I know. But then again, we all are confused about something. 

Almost a month since I wrote something productive. You can say I was seeking myself. Or asking myself this great question: “Who am I?”

The film, Kung Fu Panda 3, suggested that the great Oogway sat inside a cave for thirty years, asking this question to himself. I am lazier than Poo, the panda, and so I took the short cut. I started talking to myself. Most of the nights, I did. Staring at the ceiling, wandering between ifs and maybes.

Result? I met myself. And I came across all the bad things I have done. I understood them. You can conclude that I did not like meeting myself.

So yes, Darkness, it is the second cousin of hope, and opposite in characteristics too. 

When we are in trouble, we look for hope. We pray. We wish. We share our problems. But when we do something bad, we put it on the dark hope: Darkness. We say it is our dark side that forced us to do this. We put it on someone else, just to take the burden off our shoulders. But we are grownups, and we need to take responsibilities for our actions.

So why am I writing about it? Because it has to be written. Once I wrote about proposal, which was highly appreciated. And tell you what? It wasn’t fiction. Not one dialogue. So, if I am writing the good me, I should write the wrong me, too, right?

Whatever I have ever done or will do, it has always been me or will be me. Not the Darkness. Not the Sadness. Just me. 

But here is a fact: I have consciousness right now. Maybe a month later, when loneliness will gloss over the veneer of consciousness, I will start blaming my mistakes on Darkness. And I will write about it, again.

He never wanted to end his life.. He wanted to end that Pain he was suffering from….

So recently came across a post about Arjun Bharadwaj

He never wanted to end his life.. He wanted to end that Pain he was suffering from…. but was that a right thing? was that the right option?

Arjun was a 23 year old guy I guess.. I am not sure.. he recently used his social media accounts to let people know how to suicide using following steps. He ended his life at Taj-Land Ends. One of the most superior and luxurious hotels in the town.

How to commit suicide, according to a 24-year-old who succeeded?

Step 1: Write notes to people

Step 2: Get drunk

Step 3: Enjoy the view

Step 4: Have Bacon pasta…

Step 5: Lose count of the steps, and leave a final message.

The words of a young boy before he ended his life. He posted a picture to his Facebook profile page, too. The caption said five words—“A view to die for”—and an emoji. There never was a Step 5 to his tutorial because, he lost count of the steps and ended the video, before picking up a side table from the room. The piece of furniture was used to break the glass window. The picture was taken from the same window of his suite where he was staying, at the Taj Land’s End, Mumbai; overlooking the sea and the setting sun…

The police said he left a suicide note in which he wrote depression and drug use had taken a toll on his life. He also recorded a video tutorial on how to commit suicide, which has since gone viral on social media.

According to the Bandra police, the man, Arjun Bharadwaj, a resident of Bangalore, jumped around 6.30pm. Here are 10 things we know about the suicide.

1) The incident took place on Monday (April 3, 2017) at 6.30 pm in a five-star hotel at Bandstand, Bandra. He had checked into the hotel at 3am on Monday and was alone. He jumped off the 9th floor after breaking the glass window of the hotel building.

2) He was drunk at the time of the incident. He was depressed. The suicide was pre-planned. He had failed in college and was unable to clear his the final year of his BCom course.

3) He was a student in Mumbai’s Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies. He had been living in the city since 2013. Bharadwaj was from Bengaluru.

4) He recorded a video tutorial on how to commit suicide. The Mumbai police have blocked the video on the grounds that it could influence others and have also requested the media not to publish it.

5) To get more information into what forced him into take the extreme step, his phone has been sent to FSL.

6) His father had retired and he had one younger brother. He was under pressure to complete studies and find a job to support their family of four. He has younger brother.

7) He wrote about suicide and death in a few posts on Facebook, indicating he needed help.

8) His father got to know about his mental health issues from his friends and came to Mumbai from Bengaluru to help him. He met his father on Saturday. No statement has been recorded so far.

9) He left behind a long suicide note mentioning drug abuse, depression as reasons for his condition. He said sorry to his parents and thanked his friends.

10) He spoke about the notes, getting drunk and having food as steps to be taken before committing suicide in his video. Till now, the police have not found anyone to be held responsible for his extreme step. But his call data record will shed more light on the case.

As I say Internet has both bad and good terms. His suicide again showed us how people now are suffering from depression and other things. Most people will tell talk to your friends, family and etc etc. But, do you really think it will help were in today’s life every person is almost on their phones or with a busy schedule.

People will tell come we are there, we will talk? I mean like really? Wiil you? Do you that much of time. What you know about depression? What will you do? How will you make the other person fight? Answer me? No answers? There won’t be any.

Don’t take your life.. Give a thought before even about thinking about it.. If you really need some help meditate, ask, talk, speak, write, share your thoughts.

Someone just took the video when arjun committed suicide and uploaded it on social media not bothering about what people will go thru it, some might get depressed, some might just take the same idea and do that same thing, some may learn some lessons.

I feel taking your own life was not the solution, what happened if you would got saved the entire life you would have regretted about it, So think before taking any step..

There was a time I had gone thru this stage but that time my friends help me a lot and I am thankful to them.. But at times that stage comes again there’s no one and even I don’t want any one to know about.. coz it won’t help, If I neede help would have asked for but than I can’t even ask for a help coz I don’t like doing that I never want to be dependent on anyone. But that doen’t mean I’ll end my life or even give a thought about it, Never! So before thinking anything think about your family, loved ones, you will rise slowly it will make you better person if you try..


the whole post about Arjun

Came across from a post of the young comedian Biswa kalyan.

You can have a look. I agree on some parts but not on every



Was She?

I’d thought getting over you would be fairly easy. Because, I’ve always bragged about how quickly I move on because I never get too attached to anyone.

Truth is, it’s been three years and somehow every song on the radio, music album somehow reminds me of you.

You were different. And probably that was a thing I said to every other guy I met, but I never meant it. But you, you were so bloody different and it irked me to no end. Because you had driven us downtown to that new bar that had opened and while I had been notoriously high, you had not even taken a sip of your glass. And when you had driven us back home and I had waited for you to kiss me, we hadn’t. I had always thought love stories ended there. Ours, I wasn’t quite sure where it began and where it was supposed to end.

And getting over you would’ve been fairly easy if we had not talked throughout the night about snow and the coasts – things that had seemed so insignificant until that night when I fell asleep dreaming about some coast in India with white waves and shells and about us, walking down it’s length, hand in hand and mumbling a lazy tune. Getting over you would’ve been fucking easy if I had not fallen in love with you. I thought I’d never fall in love with you. I thought you’d never fall in love with me because I smoke and drank and acted crazy and you hated everything I loved. Except the music, of course.

And now, I sit in my room with a glass of drink and it makes me want to puke. Because, I sit on my bed facing the wall, now covered with those once broken Song that you had loved and there’s ………..(—) playing on my phone and I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad or just pathetic.

I know, now, why every song reminds me of you; why I don’t drink anymore; and why every time I pick up that ear phone  next to my bed, I’m reminded of you and of the way you smiled.

Because I was fucking in love with you.

Since the very first time we ran into each other, I was a fucking mess and you still looked at me like I was someone special.


Was I?


I started a chaos in your heart, and I became its victim too.

The Truth Is I’m Strong But I’m Tired

Original Post by : Kirsten Corley

Strength is believing in love when you’ve only known heartbreak.

It’s drying your own tears that no one knew you cried.

Strength is overcoming your own demons or vices.

And looking at someone who completely broke you and you forgive them.

Strength is helping others even when it’s you that hasn’t quite figured it out yet.

It’s trusting everyone even though you have every reason not to.

Strength is biting your tongue when someone is unkind and realizing it’s a reflection of them and not you.

It’s holding on and believing in something you know you deserve but haven’t gotten yet.

Strength is when everyone doubts you but you believe in yourself anyway.

But the truth is I’m strong but I’m tired.

I’m tired of being hurt every time I get my hopes up.

I’m tired of anticipating the worst and watching it play out.

I’m tired of being let down.

And always blaming myself for things.

I’m tired of people telling me I need to change. Then every time I try to I lose myself in an attempt to make them happy.

I’m tired of constantly being challenged and always having to be the bigger person.

I’m tired of thinking too much about people who care too little.

I’m tired of overthinking.

I’m tired of spending 15 minutes of coming up with a text only to get an answer K.

I’m tired of trying so hard to please others when I don’t ask for much in return.

I’m tired of staying up at night as thoughts consume me and I can’t sleep.

I’m tired of carrying this weight on my shoulders from my past that haunts me.

I’m tired of being strong for everyone.

I’m tired of always figuring out the solutions when it isn’t even my problem, to begin with.

I’m tired of the explanations that came too late.

And people walking away with no reason when I’m the one holding the door saying, ‘I’ll miss you.’

The truth is caring as much as this hurts. It’s knowing pain at levels others never will. It’s knowing sadness and darkness the way others don’t. It’s experiencing heartbreak that hurts more than any physical amount of pain

But on the other end of such intense emotions is knowing a love so deep, it fills you despite their absence. Despite a sadness you can’t shake, on most days, you’ll experience the happiness that makes it worth it. Despite the pain of endings, you’ll look forward to new beginnings. Because you know when you get it right it’s worth it.

And the truth is if you ask any person who is like this, what they would choose, they wouldn’t change anything about themselves even if they are tired.

There is something rare about a person that strong. They are the healers of the world. They are the light for others in darkness. They are the hope when everyone has lost it and they end up being loved deeply by everyone for being exactly who they are and not changing when others allowed pain to change them.

The truth is though regardless of how tired or hurt or disappointed these people feel, the fact they haven’t changed is why they are different. Pain changes most people but for some they see pain simply as the other end of the same spectrum that love is on, so they stay the path and keep their heads high.

A woman not everybody knew how to love.

She grew up to be a woman of her own kind.

Unlike other women, she was not a shadow of her man and temptation was not her weakness.

She had the power to turn him into a shadow, blinding him with her beauty.

She had her own quirks and one of them was principally dealing with men.

She was the woman a man needed.

She could fill his mouth with her love and douse him in her name.

She was poisonous.

She could leave the taste of her venom in every man’s mouth who was enamoured of her and every woman that came in his life after her could feel her presence.

Her presence , yeah that could tense up the men around her.

She knew what she was capable of, but never took advantage of that.

You could call her stone-hearted but that’s not what she was.

She had a beautiful heart, something not everybody deserved.

People said she would never find a man of her style but that didn’t bother her a tad bit.

She knew she was pretty , volatile , terrifying and always so intense.

A woman not everybody knew how to love.

Depression Isn’t Just Sadness. Anxiety Is Real & It’s High Time People Understand That

A article bt grace bains on Scoop whoop

Link :

by Grace Bains

Imagine having a crippling headache. You cannot move, you sure as hell cannot carry a normal conversation and you just want to sleep till that nightmare of a pain gets over.

Now, imagine that no one around is cooperative. Your mom tells you to stop being a baby because it’s just a headache, your friends call you a sissy because they’re sure it doesn’t pain that much and your boss wants you to keep working because everyone gets a headache once in a while.

This is exactly how a person with a mental illness feels. Their discomfort isn’t visible, so people conveniently assume it is nothing.

Source: Mario Azzi/Unsplash

“Just grow up and stop whining about everything in life.”

“Yaar, tum fir dukhi lag rahi ho. Cheer up! Life isn’t as bad as you make it out to be.”

“Everyone has bad days. It doesn’t mean you just sit in bed and do nothing.”

These are just a few of the sentences that are thrown at people with a mental illness. They’re asked to ‘Chill’, ‘Relax’ or ‘Shake it off’ but the one thing we refuse to do is understand.

Source: Bhumika B Photography 

We refuse to understand that their minds do not cooperate with their bodies. They are constantly followed by their demons and it is hard to just ‘Chill’. For some people, even crossing the road is an anxiety-ridden experience and they cannot ‘relax’ through it. Some people have exhaustion deep down till their bones and they can’t just ‘Shake it off’.

The problem with us is that when we hear the term ‘Mental Illness’, we automatically imagine mental asylums, psychiatric wards and a bunch of prescription medicines. But the truth is that mental illness is on the inside and could happen to anyone. It could be the boy who tops the class but makes himself sick after eating because he feels he needs to be a certain weight to find love. It could also be the girl who makes others laugh but is dying with every breath she takes.

Source: Chad Madden/Unsplash

The problem is that most people affected by a mental illness are forced to cloak it in secrecy. They’re taught that it is a thing to be ashamed of. It takes a lot for them to even admit to the fact that they’re not fine. And then our insensitive remarks go and make them feel like they’re exaggerating. We need to realize that we’re extremely lucky to be healthy and it doesn’t take a lot to extend a hand of help to someone who is not.

“If you’re not feeling fine, just stay in bed.”

“Do you want to talk about why you feel low?”

“You look quite off today. Did something happen?”

These are the sort of comforting things a person with a mental illness wants to hear. Honestly, it doesn’t take a lot to hear a person out and understand their situation, does it?

So, if someone tells you they’re feeling low, don’t dismiss them. Treat a mental illness the way you treat an illness of the heart, lungs or pancreas. There should be no distinction that way.

Source: Psych Central Blog

Life hasn’t dealt the best of cards to a person with a mental illness. But you can at least help with easing the circumstances. Stop treating them like they’re struggling, victims or patients. Treat them like friends who need a little understanding. Take them for walks, keep a check on them, encourage them to visit a counseller, but most of all, be a listener.

Don’t stigmatize mental illness. Just be a little more understanding.

Feature Image via Bhumika B Photography

I Have To Admit

Original post by

Oshin Ahlawat

I have to admit I had to cry, to convince myself that I could still hurt,
I have to admit, I shivered and shook when I was all alone, after you left,
I have to admit, I let other kinds of pain take over
so I don’t have to feel the pain you still cause in me,
I have to admit, fear is a pretty vicious motivator,
I said so many things I never meant,
I have to admit, I spent most of my time being afraid,
of being happy without you,
but the afraid part of me, that shakes and shivers,
when I smile, loves to keep me in the dark,
away from the sunlight and the music of life,

I have to admit, it gets pretty bleak to think about the night,
when you’re not used to being alone,
There are things that live inside my mind that have your fingerprints,
the traces of you being in my head,
I have to admit, I gave up on forgetting you,
I missed you and then loved you more than I expected I would,
I have to admit, I’m more tangled up than I thought I could be,

I try to walk carefully, beneath these threads of fate
that weave a web around me when I’m asleep,
And I wake up and I’m tangled even more
in the knots made by my dreams,
I have to admit, it feels pretty good to scream,
But nothing changes within me.

I wish to God I could change, but I’m too afraid,
Afraid that it involves letting you go,
I have to admit, I am afraid of getting things I wish for;
I hope I can go ahead without wanting to run backward into my past,
but life is so unpredictable, and I’m afraid of everything I want.

Why The Strongest Girls Feel The Most Brutal Kind Of Heartbreak

Original Post By

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

through Catalog

They don’t just feel it for a few days. They don’t just feel it in their heart. No, they feel it all over. They feel it in their every bones. They feel it forever.

The strongest girls are the ones who don’t stop their emotions from showing up and flooding through. The strongest girls are the ones who don’t hide from their own selves. They don’t bottle anything up, or shove more skeletons in their closets.

The strongest girls are the ones who don’t fight the hurt.

They know that to get through it, they need to start reeling. They need to start feeling everything before it explodes inside of their hearts.

Because they know if they were to postpone the heartbreak and to distance themselves from the pain, it’ll end up haunting them later on.

They feel the worst kind of heartbreak because they love hard. They go into every relationship with the glass half full and with stars in their eyes. They go into every relationship without looking back on the past that has left them scarred. They believe that they deserve the kind of love that lasts, no matter how many people have left them in the dust. They believe in big, powerful, devastating and life changing love.

And that’s why it hurts so much when it ends.

They pour all their energy into love. And they believe in it so badly. They want it so incredibly much, that they don’t think about the possibility of it ending.

This is why their hearts break the hardest. This is why their eyes flood with the most tears, and with the most pain. This is why their stomachs sink to the depths of their souls. And this is why their hearts break the hardest.

They don’t play pretend. They don’t fake smiles. They don’t put on a facade. They don’t have a vice. They just feel. They feel it all until the pain starts to fade. They feel it until their hearts are tired of hurting so much. They feel the heartbreak, until it begins to become distant. They feel the heartbreak until it becomes bearable.

They don’t try to make it go away. They don’t try to erase it, because it’s impossible to erase that kind of pain. And they are smart enough to know that one day, they will wake up and it won’t hurt so much anymore. And they know that one day, some day, they will feel ok again.

They fall hard and they crash and burn hard. But they know that they will always get through it. They know that eventually, that boy will just be a name. Not forever anymore. 

She Differed from others

Even as a young girl , she differed from the girls around her.

She couldn’t fall in and out of love with every other boy.

She failed in keeping up with the relationships she got into.

She lost interest real quick and there was nothing she could do about it.

She couldn’t stay with someone for long because nobody satisfied the man she had in her imagination. Well , to be precise , nobody was even close to that man.

She broke hearts gracefully and that wasn’t something she was proud of. All she knew was her worth and was not ready to settle for anything lesser.