Was She?

I’d thought getting over you would be fairly easy. Because, I’ve always bragged about how quickly I move on because I never get too attached to anyone.

Truth is, it’s been three years and somehow every song on the radio, music album somehow reminds me of you.

You were different. And probably that was a thing I said to every other guy I met, but I never meant it. But you, you were so bloody different and it irked me to no end. Because you had driven us downtown to that new bar that had opened and while I had been notoriously high, you had not even taken a sip of your glass. And when you had driven us back home and I had waited for you to kiss me, we hadn’t. I had always thought love stories ended there. Ours, I wasn’t quite sure where it began and where it was supposed to end.

And getting over you would’ve been fairly easy if we had not talked throughout the night about snow and the coasts – things that had seemed so insignificant until that night when I fell asleep dreaming about some coast in India with white waves and shells and about us, walking down it’s length, hand in hand and mumbling a lazy tune. Getting over you would’ve been fucking easy if I had not fallen in love with you. I thought I’d never fall in love with you. I thought you’d never fall in love with me because I smoke and drank and acted crazy and you hated everything I loved. Except the music, of course.

And now, I sit in my room with a glass of drink and it makes me want to puke. Because, I sit on my bed facing the wall, now covered with those once broken Song that you had loved and there’s ………..(—) playing on my phone and I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad or just pathetic.

I know, now, why every song reminds me of you; why I don’t drink anymore; and why every time I pick up that ear phone  next to my bed, I’m reminded of you and of the way you smiled.

Because I was fucking in love with you.

Since the very first time we ran into each other, I was a fucking mess and you still looked at me like I was someone special.


Was I?


I started a chaos in your heart, and I became its victim too.


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