Why Love didn’t sustained!!!

There is a reason why it is called one of the most complicated forces in the world.

Too many times, we don’t really end up with our ‘one and only’. I’d be a liar if I say that it doesn’t hurt. Love hurts and there is no other way to put it. We all need to undergo a few failed relationships before cracking the code. We all get consoled by our family and friends after a breakup. They usually come up with plenty of reasons to make us feel better.

* It was just not meant to be.

* You were just too good for him/her!

These are the things that we mostly hear after our breakups. Truth to be told, our loved ones always sugarcoat it. Sometimes, our relationships don’t work out because we sabotage it ourselves. Here are some brutally honest reasons why it could have never worked out between the two of you.

* You were being way too needy in your relationship

You were throwing tantrums and always wanted an assurance from your partner. Your need of getting attention might have just pushed your significant other away.

* You gave up way too easily

It’s not worth it if it doesn’t deserve a fight. If you love someone, then go out there and fight for it. Nothing good can happen to you while staying in your comfort zone.

* Either one of you had abandonment issues

It becomes quite tough to deal with someone having abandonment issues. Instead of getting a closure, they just end a healthy relationship. They leave. They always do – because no one ever told them that staying can be an option too.

* You were not able to let go of your past

Whenever we are not able to let go of our past, we end up sabotaging our relationship in the end. Instead of starting afresh, we try to replace someone else, which always ends terribly.

* You both wanted two different things in life

Sometimes, we don’t really talk about all those important things before rushing into a relationship. People have different priorities and life goals. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your whole life for them.

* You were really mean to yourself

As complicated as it might sound, sometimes we become our greatest enemy. We sabotage ourselves and can’t stay happy for a while. Sometimes, no one can be crueler to you than yourself.

* You had a relationship checklist

You are not going out there to shop groceries. People come in packages and you can’t just customize them like things.

* Trust issues

Trust and honesty form the foundation of any relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, then having a lasting relationship with them is a long shot.

* You were way too controlling

Being a control freak never really works. Not only does it push your partner away, it can even frustrate your friends and family.

* You had a passive approach to your relationship

Too many times, we just ‘go with the flow’ in love. Try to remind yourself next time, that only dead fishes go with the flow

* You were extremely argumentative

No one likes to be with a guy or girl who likes to argue on every single thing. It is really as simple as that!

* Social media and peer pressure killed your relationship

I can say this from a personal experience. There are times when we get influenced by the projection of a ‘happy’ life of our friends on social media. We try to follow their lead and in that process, we somehow just break each other.

* The two of you were not ready to change

If you can’t grow together, then you would only grow apart. Your relationship could have started well, but it can’t sustain if the two of you are not ready to change with time.

* Your relationship drastically changed you

And not for the good. Sometimes, we just wake up and realize that our entire world has been crumbled right in front of our eyes. Our whole life can change in a moment and with it, our priorities are also drastically altered.

* Because you have always been a free spirit

And you just can’t be tamed. Not everyone is supposed to have a steady relationship, and it is completely fine. You can be happy on your own. It is a path that only you can take. Avoid getting caught up in between to minimize collateral damage.

Now when you know better, you can work on your flaws. Walk an extra mile for the one you love and try to make it work this time. Remember, unlike things people can’t be replaced.

There are a few people in this world that are worth holding on to!

Even I have a dream. It’s only in there that I don’t sleep

I close myself up in pitch black darkness every night, see those blue painted walls slowly becoming insolently black as if weaving the blanket of nightmares.

I feel my warm breath on the pillow sucking the last phrases of the stories I have told them only. The music fills up my ears enough to silent the cries around me of those people who still believe in the concept of ‘love’. Just enough to drown the stories they tell me of how perfect the smell of his shirt is or how beautiful the fringes of her red streaks look when the wind plays with it. The music now malignantly spreads across my mind trying to kill every toxic story that reminds me of Him. Just when I try to feel the silence behind the eyelids, the death cries of those tales, rush towards me like a million voices trying to echo one thing.

I feel this impatience recklessness spreading across my body now shackling every step I try to make away from the chaos. Silence just couldn’t hold me and I open my eyes and shout out. Shout out into that deserted paths. Into the addictive nothingness. Again, and again.

I see black and red humans walking by, my shouts inaudible to them. I can see my voice traveling but none could intersect the gloss cover they have on their jar full of stories. One by one they start moving away from me towards a boundless infinity. Now my voice starts to strain as if I can feel his hands around my neck with his words making scars on it and he doesn’t care. He tightens the loop of his fingers, I feel the adrenaline rush going down my spine until I choke. Until my breath freezes and the nightmare breaks. I am under the spell of the music still playing softly in my ears as the alarms rings.

I feel myself pulling out of that room in my brain- the bloody butcher house of the stories that we made once. Just then I feel the gravity of tiredness around the blue lines of my eyes like I haven’t slept for weeks. People around me have that anonymity in their glances when they look at me. They call me Insomniac. But every morning I look at the cringes on my bed sheet and remember that I like every perfect human close my eyes.

Like every peaceful child, even I have a dream. It’s only in there that I don’t sleep Only in those dreams and invisible scars on my neck where I fight the brutal battles every night and wake up once again under another hopeful mask that maybe not again tonight.

Dear Diary!

Dear Diary,

My dusty bookrack and unkempt wardrobe began to create a different type of unrest inside me. The one where the clutter around you starts becoming a reflection of the chaos within you. So I decided to get into order. Finding you under a heap of mess, I flipped through your pages soaked in the peculiar vanilla fragrance every old book has; uncannily complimenting my failed poetic attempts.

My monologue with you has been long-due. In our time apart, you’d be glad to know I’ve made some progress since my last nervous breakdown.

My anxieties of the past and future are no strangers to you. Lately, all of them seem to have vanished into thin air. I don’t want to sound pretentious and make false claims of living in the moment. But I must admit, the emptiness from my monotony, which once made me feel like all my energies were sluggishly evaporating like a puddle on a summer afternoon, is gone now. Though I still haven’t found my sense of purpose, I think I’m getting there. I’m no longer impatient to wait for an answer. I feel like I’m just a few mornings away from a more resolved life.

Maybe all this optimism stems from a realisation that the past is as stale as the clichéd dry rose in you. Failed romances, distant friends, poignant what-ifs, unembraced adventures are nothing but a bygone world now. As of the future, it’s beyond our reach anyway. Planned paths always succumb to the manipulative hands of fate.

Am I happy? No. But I’m content. My cheap wine has ceased to be a sleep-inducer. Instead, it has become the perfect companion for my midnight melodies. My curiosity has gained momentum, appetite has skyrocketed and I’ve finally found solace in blank pages and blue ink. If only you didn’t have all these dog-ears, I’d come back to you more often.

As for the spotless shelves and neatly piled clothes, they’ve worked their magic.