“The first time you fall in love, it changes you forever and no matter how hard you try, that feeling just never goes away” – Nicholas Sparks
I am a hopeless romantic. I’m the girl who dreamt of her man bringing her red roses and kneeling down in front of her, with a ring in his hand. I wanted to be surprised with chocolates and ‘miss you’ cards at work. But it all looks good in a bollywood movie and not in our real life. Reality is hard. Its hard to believe that a person can change with times and according to their moods and needs as well.
I met someone years back We started seeing each other, and like any other girl I started dreaming about our future, which obviously included marriage and kids. He was elder then me. Not my type of guy. Not at all perfect but due to my friends influence we started dating and I actually took it serious.
I had been a confident girl all my life. I had stood up for myself and loved myself more than I let myself love anyone else. But I was losing all my confidence. I was losing all hope. I was beginning to think that it was me that there was something wrong with. Was he right? Was I just oversensitive and paranoid and he was still being his perfect self? Doubt and fear started to flood my mind.
It worked till eleven months until his family got to know about us and then it started. Fights, avoiding, ignoring, but I was like we cant give up though he was not up to the mark and not even deserving. It was all fine A year and eleven months of feeling like this is when I finally broke down. I was still trying to make him happy and let him live his life in peace as he always asked me to. But I couldn’t take it anymore. I finally gathered the courage to break up with him.
That day, I decided that I’d had enough with this guy. He wanted me to become something that I was not, and I refused to be his version of me…I use to hear when we broke up Will get marry in future and blah blah shits but I gave up, That was the end of my patience and our relationship.
I was heartbroken. I spent a lot of sleepless nights and sometimes would cry myself to sleep. And it took me a long time to get over him. I stopped listening to many songs because they reminded me of him. I would get depressed and at times would question myself about if I had done the right thing.
I was unhappy in my relationship with him because I expected him to be the same person he was when we started out. I expected him to be as respectful and loving. As admiring of my capabilities and as encouraging of my dreams. But soon it was all about him and that made me unhappy.
But it also made me realize something about myself. I like doing things for the people I care about. And just because a few people fail to acknowledge or appreciate that, it does not mean that I will never come across someone who will.
Expecting something in return from someone always causes disappointment. So I’m not afraid to fall back in love, I’m not hurt or bruised or scarred. In fact, I am stronger than ever before, because I have learnt to love without expectations.
Love is not always about happy moments, there will be rough patches as well – and it’s these situations that make your relationship stronger. Similarly, when life breaks you down, you gather all the courage you can muster and put your life back on track…only you can be the reason for your happiness. Embrace every aspect of your life, be it good or bad. If things don’t seem to be working at this moment, they will be better in the future. Good things come to those who wait. So never compromise on your happiness and always be proud of who you are. 🙂